Sexuality and Masculinity: Examining the Intersection

The way societies define what it means to “be a man” doesn’t just shape behaviour in public life – it deeply influences intimate and sexual interactions too. Across cultures, dominant ideas about masculinity have long been intertwined with notions of sexual power, control, and aggression. This intersection of sexuality and masculinity is not merely an academic curiosity. It has real consequences: it shapes how sexual relationships are negotiated, how consent is understood (or ignored), and why sexual violence remains so pervasive. To address these issues meaningfully, we need to unpack how masculine norms condition sexual attitudes and behaviours – and what can be done to change them.

How masculinity shapes sexual behaviour 🔗

At its core, the dominant form of masculinity – what sociologist Raewyn Connell calls hegemonic masculinity – is built on expectations of toughness, dominance, emotional suppression, and control. These traits don’t stay confined to the workplace or public arena. They seep into the most private domains of life, including sexual relationships.

For many men, sexual prowess becomes a key marker of masculine identity. The ability to “conquer” or “score” is treated as evidence of being a “real man.” This framing turns sexual encounters into performances of power rather than acts of mutual intimacy. When sex becomes a site for proving dominance, the other person’s agency and consent can easily become secondary – or irrelevant altogether.

Research by the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW), based on a survey of over 9,000 men across seven states, found that men’s controlling behaviour and gender-inequitable attitudes are strongly linked to intimate partner violence and son preference . The study made it clear that these patterns are not just about individual bad actors – they are rooted in how masculinity itself is constructed.

The link between aggressive masculinity and sexual violence 🔗

When masculine identity is built around dominance, sexual violence often becomes an extension of that identity. Harassment, assault, and rape are not just criminal acts – they are, in many cases, expressions of a masculinity that equates control over others with self-worth.

In patriarchal cultures, when a woman resists sexual advances, it can be perceived as a direct challenge to a man’s sense of identity, triggering what researchers describe as a crisis of masculine self-image . This perceived threat can escalate into violent responses, as the offender uses sexual control and violence as a means of reasserting dominance .

According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), reported incidents of crime against women rose from roughly 228,650 in 2011 to over 428,278 in 2021 – an increase of about 87% . While improved reporting plays a role, the sheer scale of these numbers points to a deeply entrenched culture of gendered violence. The International Men and Gender Equality Survey (IMAGES) Questionnaire reported in 2011 that 24% of men surveyed acknowledged having committed sexual violence at some point in their lives .

These are not isolated incidents. Data from the National Family Health Survey (NFHS-5) shows that 29% of ever-married women reported experiencing spousal violence . And the problem runs deeper than adult behaviour – 44% of men who had regularly witnessed or experienced violence and discrimination in childhood admitted to perpetrating violence against their partners, compared to just 14% among those with less exposure to childhood violence . This suggests that aggressive masculinity is not innate but learned, passed down across generations.

Sexual language, expletives, and the masculine mindset 🔗

One of the most revealing – and often overlooked – indicators of how masculinity shapes sexual attitudes is everyday language. Pay attention to common expletives and slang, particularly those used in male-dominated spaces. A striking proportion of abusive words and insults are sexual in nature, and they almost always target women or femininity.

This is not accidental. Language is a mirror of underlying power dynamics. When the worst insults a person can hurl revolve around sexual acts, female anatomy, or the perceived femininity of another man, it reveals a worldview in which sexuality itself is a tool of domination. Being “on top” is associated with strength; being “beneath” is associated with weakness and shame. This linguistic pattern reinforces the idea that sexual relationships are inherently about hierarchy, not partnership.

Consider how common it is for men to use sexualised language to assert dominance in arguments, sports, or even casual conversation. These expressions normalise the idea that women’s bodies and sexuality are objects to be controlled, won, or degraded. Over time, this normalisation lowers the threshold for actual sexual aggression. Research suggests that men who feel insecure about meeting masculine standards may resort to sexual harassment as a way to reassert dominance and cope with their perceived inadequacy .

The gendered nature of expletives also reflects a broader pattern: femininity is consistently devalued. Calling someone “effeminate” or comparing them to a woman remains one of the most common insults among men. Qualities like violence, dominance, emotional illiteracy, and sexual entitlement are treated as hallmarks of this version of masculinity , while anything associated with vulnerability or femininity is dismissed as weakness.

Masculinity, consent, and the culture of entitlement 🔗

A significant consequence of aggressive masculine norms is the erosion of consent as a concept. When men are socialised to believe that persistence is a virtue – that “no” is simply a challenge to overcome – the very foundation of consensual relationships is undermined.

This plays out across settings: from college campuses to workplaces, from marriages to public spaces. Research analysing popular Indian cinema found that courtship portrayals frequently border on sexual harassment, driven by the need to perform hegemonic masculinity . Films routinely depict male protagonists pursuing women despite clear rejection, framing this persistence as romantic rather than coercive. These cultural narratives shape what young men consider acceptable behaviour.

The entitlement extends to intimate relationships as well. In many households, marital rape is still not recognised as a violation because dominant masculine norms frame a wife’s body as a husband’s right. The NFHS has found that a substantial proportion of women who experienced domestic violence chose not to disclose their ordeal, with many having internalised social norms that made them believe they deserved the abuse .

This culture of entitlement is also evident in digital spaces. Online harassment, unsolicited explicit messages, and cyberstalking disproportionately target women and are often carried out by men performing a particular version of masculinity – one that treats women’s boundaries as obstacles rather than rights.

Masculinity and sexual minorities 🔗

The intersection of masculinity and sexuality does not only affect women. Men who do not conform to heterosexual or traditionally masculine norms also face significant violence, precisely because they are seen as threats to the dominant gender order.

Studies on violence against men who have sex with men (MSM) in India have found that gay respondents reported higher rates of violence than bisexual respondents, partly because their visibility made them more susceptible to attack . Respondents who were perceived as more feminine in their gender expression were particularly vulnerable, as their non-conformity was treated as a provocation .

Many such cases go unreported because victims either fear being harassed by the system itself or are not considered legitimate victims of sexual violence . For years, laws like Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code were used by police as tools for harassment and extortion of sexual minorities .

This highlights an important truth: aggressive masculinity doesn’t just harm women. It harms everyone who falls outside its narrow parameters – including men who are perceived as insufficiently masculine.

Breaking the cycle: challenging aggressive masculinity 🔗

If aggressive masculinity is learned rather than innate, it can also be unlearned. But this requires a comprehensive approach – one that addresses socialisation, institutions, media, and interpersonal relationships.

Early intervention and education 🔗

UNFPA recommends engaging boys during their formative years, when attitudes and behaviours are still being shaped, as a critical strategy for addressing harmful masculinity and preventing violence . Gender-sensitisation programmes in schools that go beyond biological education to address power, consent, and healthy relationships are essential. Teaching young boys that vulnerability is not weakness – and that respect for others’ autonomy is not a compromise of their own identity – can lay the foundation for healthier sexual attitudes.

Engaging men and boys as allies 🔗

Addressing sexual violence cannot be a conversation that only involves women. Men need to take greater responsibility and accountability for countering violence perpetrated by other men, including by standing in solidarity with the women’s movement and challenging peer pressure that reinforces harmful norms . UNFPA India’s programmes have worked to encourage men and boys to abandon harmful stereotypes and embrace respectful, healthy relationships.

Redefining masculinity through media 🔗

Popular media – films, television, social media – plays an enormous role in shaping masculine ideals. Ensuring gender sensitivity in media portrayals and involving men within the media industry are important steps toward tackling stereotypes . When cinema stops glorifying stalking as romance and starts showing male emotional vulnerability as strength, it shifts the cultural baseline for what masculinity means.

Reforming institutional frameworks 🔗

Effective masculinity education must go beyond personal attitude change and engage with citizen action to address violence at the local level . This means training police, healthcare providers, judicial officers, and local governance bodies to recognise and address the ways in which gendered power dynamics enable violence. Research has identified that alternative visions of masculinity – those that reject violence, embrace self-awareness, and appreciate diversity – need to be rooted in local cultural contexts to be effective .

Legal and policy measures 🔗

Stronger enforcement of existing laws – including the Criminal Law (Amendment) Act, 2013, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, and the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace Act, 2013 – is critical. But laws alone are insufficient if the underlying culture remains unchanged. Policy must be accompanied by long-term investments in gender-transformative education and community engagement.

Toward a healthier understanding of sexuality and masculinity 🔗

The goal of examining the intersection of sexuality and masculinity is not to vilify men. It is to understand how certain socially constructed ideas about manhood create conditions for sexual harm – and to find pathways toward something better.

Healthy masculinity does not demand dominance. It does not equate sexual aggression with strength, nor does it treat another person’s body as territory to be claimed. A healthier framework recognises that real strength lies in empathy, self-awareness, and the ability to relate to others as equals. By pointing to specific norms that are harmful rather than characterising all masculinity as problematic, it becomes possible to encourage men and boys to critically reflect on their own behaviour without feeling attacked or alienated .

This is not just a women’s issue or a men’s issue. It is a societal issue. The way we construct masculinity shapes our families, workplaces, public spaces, and intimate lives. Addressing it honestly and constructively is a precondition for building a society in which sexual relationships are defined by respect and consent, not by power and control.

What do you think? How do you see masculine norms influencing sexual behaviour and attitudes in your own community or peer group? And what role can education – both formal and informal – play in reshaping these norms for the next generation?

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity
2. https://www.icrw.org/publications/masculinity-intimate-partner-violence-and-son-preference-in-india/
3. https://india.unfpa.org/en/news/push-against-toxic-masculinity-engaging-men-and-boys-take-responsibility-should-be-critical
4. https://www.alignplatform.org/resources/educating-men-and-boys-about-masculinities-india-address-violence-against-women-and-girls
5. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3777345/